Choosing the right dildo size can feel overwhelming. You might be wondering what size dildo should I get for my first time, or whether you should prioritize length or width. The truth is, picking the perfect size isn’t just about measurements on a product page. It involves understanding your body, your experience level, material properties, and how different factors work together to create a comfortable, pleasurable experience.

What size dildo should I get? The best dildo size depends on your sensitivity to girth versus length, body flexibility, experience level, toy firmness rating, and material properties. For beginners or those managing pelvic sensitivity, start with toys under 1.25 inches in diameter and 5.5 inches insertable length, using soft platinum-cured silicone with a Shore-00 rating between 00-20.

This guide covers five critical factors that mainstream retailers rarely discuss. You’ll learn how to measure for the right fit, understand firmness ratings, choose body-safe materials, and progress safely over time.

Factor 1: Girth vs. Length Sensitivity

Most people focus on length when shopping for dildos, but medical professionals confirm that girth (diameter or circumference) is the primary factor affecting comfort and safety. Using a toy that’s too wide without proper preparation can lead to micro-tears, muscle tension, or prolonged discomfort.

Understanding Insertable vs. Total Length

Product descriptions list two measurements: total length and insertable length. Total length includes the base or handle, while insertable length represents what actually goes inside your body. Always focus on insertable length when comparing sizes. A toy listed as 7 inches total might only have 5.5 inches of usable length.

For beginners, aim for 4-5.5 inches of insertable length. This provides enough sensation without overwhelming your body. Experienced users can comfortably handle 6-8 inches or more, depending on anatomy and position.

How Girth Affects Comfort and Safety

Diameter is measured across the widest point of the toy. Beginner-friendly dildos typically measure 0.9-1.2 inches in diameter, which translates to roughly 3-4 inches in circumference. Medium sizes range from 1.25-1.5 inches, while larger toys exceed 1.75 inches in diameter.

According to pelvic floor specialists, gradual stretching is crucial. Start with toys at or slightly below your comfort level, especially if you’re new to penetration or have conditions like vaginismus or vulvodynia. The vaginal canal and anal sphincter both respond better to slow, gentle progression rather than sudden size increases.

How Can I Tell If a Toy Is Too Thick?

Your body will signal when something is too large. Warning signs include:

• Stinging or burning sensation at the entry point
• Excessive pressure or feeling “blocked”
• Muscle tension that doesn’t relax with deep breathing
• Resistance that doesn’t improve with additional lubricant
• Soreness lasting more than a few hours after use

If you experience any of these, switch to a smaller diameter. There’s no shame in sizing down. Comfort builds confidence, which enhances pleasure over time.

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Factor 2: Body Position and Flexibility

Your physical position during use dramatically impacts how size feels. The same toy can feel comfortable in one position and overwhelming in another because different positions change pelvic tilt, muscle tension, and depth capacity.

Best Positions for Size Exploration

Reclining with knees bent is ideal for beginners. This position naturally opens the hips, relaxes pelvic floor muscles, and gives you complete control over depth and angle. Lying on your back with a pillow under your hips creates optimal alignment for both vaginal and anal exploration.

Squatting or deep lunging positions engage different muscle groups. While these positions can increase sensation for experienced users, they may create too much intensity for beginners or those with tight pelvic floors. The community on r/vaginismus consistently recommends starting with relaxed, reclined positions before experimenting with active stances.

Side-lying offers a middle ground. This position reduces pressure on the pelvic floor while maintaining good control. It’s particularly helpful for those managing pain conditions or recovering from childbirth.

Does Flexibility Actually Matter for Dildo Size?

Yes, but not in the way you might think. Pelvic flexibility refers to how easily your muscles relax during arousal and penetration. Regular pelvic floor exercises, breathwork, and using graduated dilator sets can improve flexibility over time.

If you have naturally tight muscles or a diagnosed pelvic floor disorder, you may find that smaller, softer toys provide more pleasure than larger, firmer options regardless of your experience level. Listen to your body rather than following generic size recommendations.

Factor 3: Understanding Firmness (Shore‑00 Scale)

Knowing what size dildo to get isn’t complete without considering firmness. Two toys with identical measurements can feel completely different based on their Shore-00 hardness rating.

The Shore-00 Scale Explained

The Shore-00 scale measures silicone softness from 00-100, with lower numbers indicating softer materials:

• Shore 00-10 (Ultra-Soft): Extremely flexible, compressible, almost gel-like. Best for those with sensitivity issues or beginners who want maximum give.
• Shore 00-20 (Soft): Gentle with significant flex. Ideal for first-time users and daily comfort.
• Shore 00-30 (Medium): Balanced between structure and flexibility. Offers more feedback while remaining forgiving.
• Shore 00-40 (Medium-Firm): Noticeable resistance with less compression. Popular among intermediate users.
• Shore 00-50+ (Firm): Rigid with minimal give. Preferred by advanced users seeking intense stimulation.

How Firmness Changes Perceived Size

A soft toy at 1.5 inches diameter will feel smaller than a firm toy at 1.25 inches because soft silicone compresses and adapts to your body. Firm toys maintain their shape, creating a fuller sensation that some find pleasurable and others find overwhelming.

If you’re testing a new size, choose a softer firmness first. You can always move to firmer versions of the same diameter once you know the size works for you. This approach reduces the risk of discomfort while building confidence.

All Erotixxx Toys use EPI-200-SIT protocol certified platinum-cured silicone, allowing you to customize both size and firmness for your exact preferences. Our artisan craftsmanship ensures consistency across every handmade piece.

Factor 4: Material Properties – Why Platinum Silicone Feels Different

Not all silicone is created equal. The material composition directly affects how a dildo feels during use, how much lubricant you’ll need, and whether the toy is truly body-safe.

Platinum-Cured vs. Tin-Cured Silicone

Platinum-cured silicone is medical-grade, completely non-porous, and hypoallergenic. It contains no fillers, additives, or potentially harmful chemicals. This purity makes it ideal for long-term use and sterilization. You can boil platinum silicone toys for 3-5 minutes to fully sanitize them between uses.

Tin-cured silicone (often found in cheaper toys) may contain catalysts that cause allergic reactions in sensitive individuals. These toys also degrade faster and can harbor bacteria in microscopic pores. If you’re investing in a toy for regular use, platinum-cured silicone is worth the premium price.

Surface Texture and Lubricant Compatibility

Platinum silicone has natural drag, meaning it doesn’t glide as smoothly as materials like glass or polished metal. This texture can enhance sensation for some users but requires generous application of water-based lubricant.

Never use silicone-based lubricant with silicone toys. The chemical similarity can cause the toy surface to break down, creating a sticky residue that can’t be removed. Water-based lubes are safe, effective, and easy to clean.

Interestingly, the natural drag of platinum silicone makes toys feel slightly larger than smooth materials at the same diameter. Factor this into your size selection, especially if you’re transitioning from glass or metal toys.

Why Material Matters for Sizing Up

When you’re ready to increase size, stick with the same material type. Moving from a 1.25-inch glass dildo to a 1.5-inch silicone one represents a bigger jump than the measurements suggest because of textural differences. Consistent material choice helps you gauge true size progression.

Erotixxx specializes exclusively in platinum-cured silicone, ensuring every toy meets medical-grade safety standards. Our Made in USA production process guarantees purity testing on every batch.

💡 Explore our complete safety standards in our Body-Safe Dildo Materials Guide.

Factor 5: Training Sets and Safe Size Progression

Clinical research on pelvic health consistently recommends gradual size progression over time. Jumping from no penetration experience to a large toy increases injury risk and can create negative associations with pleasure.

How Dilator and Trainer Sets Work

Training sets include multiple toys in graduated sizes, typically ranging from 0.75 inches to 1.75 inches in diameter. You start with the smallest size and only move up when that size feels completely comfortable for 5-10 minutes of use.

Physical therapists who specialize in pelvic pain often prescribe dilator sets for patients recovering from trauma, surgery, or managing conditions like vaginismus. The same principles apply to recreational sizing up: patience, consistency, and listening to your body.

Creating Your Own Progression Plan

If you’re not using a formal trainer set, you can create your own sizing progression:

1. Weeks 1-2: Use the smallest comfortable size 2-3 times per week
2. Weeks 3-4: Increase session length to 10-15 minutes if comfortable
3. Weeks 5-6: Introduce the next size up (typically 0.25-0.5 inch increase in diameter)
4. Weeks 7+: Continue with the new size until completely comfortable, then repeat

This timeline is a guideline, not a rule. Some people progress faster; others need more time. Conditions like endometriosis, pelvic floor dysfunction, or previous trauma may require slower progression with professional guidance.

How Long Should I Wait Before Sizing Up?

Most experts recommend waiting at least 1-2 weeks of comfortable use before increasing size. Comfortable use means:

• No pain during or after insertion
• Able to fully relax muscles around the toy
• Can move the toy in and out without discomfort
• No soreness the next day

If you experience any pain, continue with your current size for another week or two. Rushing the process often leads to setbacks that take longer to overcome than simply being patient from the start.

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Why Erotixxx Toys Are Perfect for Size Confidence

Choosing the right size requires more than just picking numbers off a chart. It demands toys you can trust, materials that won’t irritate your body, and a company that prioritizes your safety over mass production.

Artisan Craftsmanship and Custom Sizing

Every Erotixxx dildo is hand-poured in small batches in San Diego, California. This artisan approach allows for precise size control and quality inspection that factory production can’t match. Unlike mass-produced toys with inconsistent measurements, our platinum-cured silicone maintains exact specifications from the first pour to the hundredth.

We offer customization options for firmness levels, allowing you to pair your ideal size with the perfect Shore-00 rating for your body. Whether you need ultra-soft for sensitivity or medium-firm for structure, we craft each toy to your specifications.

Medical-Grade Safety Standards

All Erotixxx products follow the EPI-200-SIT protocol, the gold standard for platinum-cured silicone testing. This certification confirms:

• Zero phthalates, BPA, or harmful chemicals
• Complete non-porosity (bacteria cannot penetrate the surface)
• Hypoallergenic composition safe for sensitive skin
• Heat-resistant up to 400°F for complete sterilization

When you’re experimenting with size, you need materials you can trust. Our commitment to medical-grade standards means you can focus on comfort and pleasure without worrying about toxic exposure.

Discreet Delivery in Unbranded Packaging

We understand that privacy matters. All orders ship in plain, unmarked boxes with an undefined return address. Your delivery will arrive within 2-5 days with no indication of the contents or company name on external packaging.

This discretion extends to your billing statement as well. Charges appear with a generic descriptor, protecting your privacy at every step of the purchasing process.

💡 Learn more about our commitment to your privacy in our Discreet Sex Toy Shipping Guide.

Comparing Size Options: Erotixxx vs. Mass Retailers

Frequently Asked Questions About Dildo Sizing

What’s the best beginner dildo size?

For most beginners, start with 0.9-1.2 inches in diameter and 4-5.5 inches of insertable length. Choose a soft firmness rating (Shore 00-10 to 00-20) to maximize comfort. These dimensions provide enough sensation to be pleasurable without overwhelming your body.

Can a toy that’s too big cause permanent damage?

Yes, using a toy that’s significantly too large without proper preparation can cause micro-tears, muscle strain, and long-term pelvic sensitivity. Repeated overstretching may lead to pelvic floor dysfunction requiring physical therapy. Always size up gradually and stop if you experience pain.

How do I measure myself for the right dildo size?

Use a clean, lubricated finger to gauge comfortable depth and width. One finger comfortably represents about 0.75 inches diameter; two fingers side-by-side equal roughly 1.25-1.5 inches. Measure how deep you can comfortably reach without discomfort. Add 0.5-1 inch to your measurements for initial toy selection.

Why does firmness matter as much as size?

Firmness directly affects how size feels. A soft 1.5-inch toy compresses and adapts to your body, while a firm 1.5-inch toy maintains its full shape. This can make the firm option feel significantly larger. Beginners should always choose softer options when trying new sizes.

How long should I wait before sizing up to a larger toy?

Wait at least 1-2 weeks of completely comfortable use at your current size before increasing. Comfortable means zero pain, full muscle relaxation, and no next-day soreness. If you’re managing pelvic conditions, consult with a pelvic floor physical therapist for personalized progression timelines.

What’s the difference between diameter and circumference?

Diameter is measured straight across the widest point of the toy (side to side). Circumference is the measurement around the entire toy. To convert: circumference = diameter × 3.14. A 1.25-inch diameter toy has roughly 3.9 inches of circumference. Most manufacturers list diameter in product specs.

Should I choose a realistic or fantasy dildo for my first purchase?

Either option works for beginners as long as the size and firmness are appropriate. Realistic dildos often have textured veins and defined heads, while fantasy toys feature smooth, tapered designs. Many beginners find fantasy toys with gradual tapers easier to use because you can control how much girth you’re taking. Check out our Fantasy Dildo Complete Guide for more details.

Start Your Sizing Journey With Confidence

Understanding what size dildo you should get comes down to knowing your body, respecting your comfort limits, and choosing materials that support your health. Size is personal. There’s no “standard” that works for everyone, and your perfect size may change over time as your body adapts and your preferences evolve.

Erotixxx Toys offers premium platinum-cured silicone dildos in every size from beginner-friendly to advanced, all crafted by hand in California with medical-grade safety standards. Every toy is customizable for firmness, shipped discreetly, and backed by our commitment to your satisfaction.

Your body deserves toys that are safe, comfortable, and sized exactly right for you.

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References

• Healthline: Cleaning & Caring for Sex Toys
• Allure: How to Clean Sex Toys
• American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists: Pelvic Floor Disorders
• Reddit: r/vaginismus Community Guidance
• International Society for Sexual Medicine: Dilator Therapy Guidelines